Dances With Wolves

My husband aside, I can count on one hand how many men I've slept with in my life. I guess by some standards that might be too many and by other's too few. I did most of my naughty work during my early 20s, like most people I presume, and well, if I had it all to do over again, I admit that I would have done it much differently. Okay, maybe I wouldn't have done it any differently but they would have been different. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a longing for days-gone-by. I am happy and loved and in a much better place than I was in my 20s. But when I do look back at those days-gone-by, I don't look back on the number of lovers I had with as much regret as I do the partners I had. The one thing I never considered during my own little sexual revolution was quantity vs quality. I'm not suggesting that the actual sex should have better (although that might have been nice), but the partners themselves should have been better. Better people.

Just for arguments sake, here's what I mean.

1 - Village Idiot
2 - Bartender
3 - Spoiled Rotten Idiot
4 - Weirdo/Bum
5 - Alcoholic & Bum


So the count is Idiots - 2, Bums - 2, Bartenders - 1. Ick, Ick, Ick, Ick, and ICK!

I look back at pictures of myself during that time and empirically speaking, Wow! I was hot! And I had a lot more to offer besides being fit and beautiful. I'm not trying to toot my own horn, so-to-speak, but back then, I was hard working, independent, creative, fun, and kind (still am, I like to think).

If I had to go back, my list would be longer. Yes, longer. I would have slept with more people, but better people. I'd have liked to have slept with people of real depth and substance. Intelligence, self-respect, and experience would have been on my qualifications list. Lovers who could have taught me something about the world; who themselves were hard working, independent, creative, fun, and kind. Maybe someone from the PeaceCorp or a Professor or an Artist. Someone with something valuable to share aside from free drinks, and bad debt.

What should be noted here is that I knew the kind of people I'm talking about. During the same time that I was bedding complete morons, I was meeting and interacting with smart, kind, and exceptional people who I did not sleep with. I guess this was the price of being young and foolish and unable to see the good stuff as good instead of seeing the bad stuff as good. But I owe fate a debt of gratitude, for in the end, I married one of those extraordinary people.